How our spiritual journey with Sri Chinmoy started
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
We heard of Sri Chinmoy through a radio program that was conducted by one of his disciples. He kept talking about his teacher, Sri Chinmoy, and I wrote a letter to ask if we could meet Sri Chinmoy. So, he was in touch with us, and he invited us to come to his house.
Then he took us to the New Year's meditation. It was the end of 1973, and he took us to that public meditation. Nandita was very pregnant with Bishwas when we went. I was impressed because the disciples who were ushers, the disciples who were helping, were so nice. Guru invited groups up to sing or just to meditate on stage, and Guru himself spoke and sang.
But what really captivated me, what really excited me, is they showed a picture, a movie, a close-up of Guru's face while he was meditating.
You've seen that kind of video with Guru's eyes dancing and this wonderful expression on his face. I felt tremendous excitement in myself. It was so… I had never seen anything like that. You know how quickly Guru's eyes move? I even tried to move my eyes quickly to see if I could do that. No, no, Guru's eyes were really dancing.
So, this marvelous programme ended. There were probably about a thousand people at the event. Then our host, a disciple, took us backstage to meet Guru. So we were standing backstage, and Guru was about 30 feet away from us with some other disciples. These other disciples were all attendants for Guru for the event. We were sitting on the floor; the attendants were also sitting on the floor. These other disciples, the attendants who were sitting on the floor, were looking at Guru with their hands folded. Guru was standing and looking at each of them, one at a time.
As you know, that is darshan, when the Master offers blessings to the disciple. Guru was giving darshan to them. It was amazing to look at it—them smiling and gazing at him and him looking at them and smiling. My feeling was, “Wow, this man is really something!” You know what Guru's smile is like? No one can smile like Guru.
Then the big moment came. Guru walked over to where we were with our host, and he introduced us to Guru. By the way, I had a really big beard then. Guru was completely silent. He just raised his hands, both hands, and put one hand on my head and one hand on Nandita's head. My feeling was, “I like this. I like this.”
So that was the beginning. Then next, I shaved my beard, and we became disciples.
The next time we saw Guru was when he came down to Princeton to give a talk. It was on Nandita's birthday. I knew this man was really something, that he was really amazing. I wanted him to bless Nandita because she was pregnant with Bishwas. In my pushy way, I somehow maneuvered us so that Guru would have to encounter us. Guru gave a big blessing to Nandita. It was her birthday. He put his hands on her head and said a few words. I was very happy. Thus launched our spiritual career with Guru
.That early stage when I saw Guru, I could not believe that this was happening to me. Nothing that good had ever happened in my life. I felt this was like being in the presence of Jesus or Buddha or Krishna. How could something that amazing be happening to me?
With magic in His Eyes
With magic in His Eyes
God came to me.
With wonder-surprise in my eyes
I drank His Ecstasy.Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. A soulful cry versus a fruitful smile, Agni Press, 1977
'From now on, my Krishna’s consciousness is inside of you.'
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
In those days, every time Guru was in Puerto Rico, I went to the Centre every day after work either to sit and talk and just be there, or to cook.
One day as I went to the Centre—because I was a little bit early—I went to this park, and there was a pond of water lilies. One of the lilies was particularly beautiful. I thought, “I must take this to Guru.”
So I pulled it out of the pond and cleaned it. I went to the Centre with the water lily. As soon as I saw Guru, I gave him the flower. He put it to his nose and smelled it. He said, “Ahh, the water lily, my Lord Krishna’s consciousness.”
Guru went out to the balcony of the Centre and then he called me. He had the flower in his hand and asked me to get close to him. He placed the flower over my head and proceeded to bless me.
He said, “I’m giving you my Lord Krishna’s consciousness. From now on, my Krishna’s consciousness is inside of you.”
Behold!
Yonder my Lord Krishna’s
Jingling ankle bells
Are thrilling my eyes,
Intoxicating my heartbeat,
Feeding my heart
And energising my life.
My Lord Krishna, my Lord Krishna!Sri Chinmoy 1
Behold!- 1. My Early Morning Heart-Climbing Prayers, Agni Press, 2006
The day I saw my Guru for the first time
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
Guru was flying through Los Angeles; he had a layover of a couple hours. So, the idea was that we would all spend time with him in the airport.
We sat waiting for Guru. It was very early in the morning, and we found a corner of the airport that didn't have anyone in it.
Before I flew down to Los Angeles, some disciples in Seattle told me their stories of meeting Guru for the first time. They told stories of seeing light and angels and all kinds of wonderful, fantastic things. This created some expectations in my mind. So in the airport, when Guru finally came, he came in a tracksuit, which I didn't expect, and Guru looked tired, and he was kind of limping because his knee had hurt. My mind started looking at these things and getting confused.
We found this corner and everyone, of course, was thrilled to see Guru. They were obviously feeling wonderful things, but I wasn't feeling anything.
Then Guru just sat down and started meditating and everyone else started meditating and everything went silent. I started to get even more agitated, and my mind created more problems. Here I had come down to meet my Guru and feel this bliss again like the experiences I had had, and now I wasn't feeling anything. My mind was just torturing me. Of course, when you meditate, everything is more intense, so all these awful feelings were getting more intense. Then Guru started talking about the soul of California and that confused me even more to think that a state had a soul.
At that point, my mind started to torture me with thoughts that maybe I wasn't meant for spirituality. It was at that point that Guru told everyone to stand up and have a walking meditation. We got in a line and slowly walked past Guru looking into his eyes. I didn't know what was going on. I'd never heard of a walking meditation. So, I asked Nayak and he kind of struggled to explain it. He said, “Just imagine you have a bowl and you're offering everything to Sri Chinmoy, and he'll fill that bowl with something nice.”
So I was really confused. But then I found myself approaching Guru. As I walked past him, it was as if everything else faded away. I looked at him, and it felt like all my anxiety and worry was being washed away. In a matter of seconds, I had my whole consciousness shifted and elevated. I had never experienced anything like that in my life.
I was both in awe and also just in bliss at this wonderful feeling. We walked around Guru and went and sat back down on the floor. I could not stop staring at Guru. I did not even want to blink to miss even a moment looking at Guru. I realised that what he had, what he was offering was what I really wanted in life, and I just wanted to do everything possible to receive whatever I could from him.
The mind’s negativity-capacity
Is no match
For the heart’s God-receptivity.Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 179, Agni Press, 1993
'Yes, my Lord.'
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
This is a story about how I started calling Guru “my Lord.”
I was living in California, and I was reading the Srimad Bhagavatam. The last part of the Bhagavatam, the last third of the book, is all about Lord Krishna.
The gopis moved me because they had so much devotion to Lord Krishna. They have surrendered everything to him, their mind and their life, and they called him their Lord.
So, on this particular day, I was reading the Bhagavatam, and a wish came from my heart that said, Guru, “I want to belong only to you, only to you.”
The next week, when Guru called the San Francisco Centre, when I picked up the phone and I said, “This is Kamalakanta,” he said, “My Kamalakanta, my Kamalakanta, my Kamalakanta.”
Then when I came to New York the next time and we were playing tennis, he was in his chair and he said something to me. When I responded to him, I said, “Yes, my Lord.”
Guru raised his voice and he said, “He is saying it from the central part of his being. He is being sincere.”
One more thing. In the book The Wings of Joy, the second or third chapter, Guru talks about the fact that the disciple must establish an intimate relationship with the Master. If you feel that the Master is only like a schoolteacher, then he might be displeased with you at some point and say, “Okay, you failed. You go out of the school.” You know, bye bye.
But Guru said that if you have established an intimate relationship with the Master, he can never let you go. You can feel that he is your brother or your lover or your father or your friend, your best friend, but some kind of intimate relationship has to be established.
I meditated on it, and I decided that the one I felt most comfortable with was the father-son relationship. So, I inwardly said to Guru at that moment, “Guru, you are my father. I give you complete authority over my life. You can say anything you want about me.”
Two weeks later, he was visiting somebody, and he said, “Kamalakanta, I can say anything I want about him. He is my child.”
My Lord, my dear Lord, my sweet Lord,
My Lord Divine, my Lord Supreme,
How can I, even for a single day,
Love You in Your own Way,
Offer You my devotion in Your own Way
And
Surrender my entire earth-existence to You
In Your own Way?
"My sleeplessly and breathlessly
Dream-blossoming child,
It is not an impossible task.
It is not even a difficult task.
It is an unbelievably easy task.
My child, from today on,
Do not try to hide from Me
And live in your darkness-mind-cave-
Absurd, My child, absurd!
The entire creation, the entire universe,
Is created by Me.
I am the body
And
I am the Spirit of the universe.
My child, I am most affectionately,
Most blessingfully inviting you
To come and live with Me
In My Heart-Nest.
Come, My child, come!
Come play with Me and sing with Me.
Lo, My child,
Perfect is your love for Me,
Perfect is your devotion to Me,
Perfect is your surrender to Me.
Your name is now perfect perfection-sky,
And
My Name is perfect Satisfaction-Sun.
My child, to make the Real in you happy,
Today, tomorrow and forever and forever
I must love you in My divine Way,
The only Way.
My child, My child, My child!"Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. My sweet Father-Lord, where are you?, Agni Press, 1999
The first time that I really understood that I had a soul
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
After three months of coming to the Centre, I decided I would go to New York to meet Guru and see if I was meant to be following his path. The evening I arrived, I went to PS 86, the public school where Guru was holding a public meditation that night.
At the end of the evening, I stood in the corridor and Guru walked past me. When he walked past me, he stopped and gave me this very, very beautiful smile. When he looked at me, I knew he saw everything about me. He looked at my spiritual heart and his eyes kind of flickered very momentarily, very briefly, when he looked at my spiritual heart. He did something occultly or psychically, because I felt this, like a little warm explosion in my heart centre. All my worldly troubles all fell away, and I suddenly felt immensely happy.
That feeling of being unburdened by my mind and free of all my troubles stayed with me for about three or four days. That was the very first time that I really understood that I had a soul, that I am the soul. That was the beginning of my journey.
The Sunshine-Smile
Of my Lord’s Heart
Feeds my heart’s prayer-cry
Before I start my daily spiritual journey.Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 155, Agni Press, 1991
Guru was teaching us through his music
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
I remember Guru running the 47-mile race at August Celebrations. It was the second time that he did it. We, the children, would stand on the course and sing songs. When Guru would run by, we would sing for him because he was really suffering. We could see him suffering so we would sing songs for him. Then when he went past, we would run across to the other side of the course and wait for him and sing for him there. Guru would give us a nice little blessing as he would go by.
Also during that Celebrations, Guru taught the children songs. There was a big group of children there. I remember learning Tomare Rakhibo. I think it was new then, and Guru was teaching us all. A lot of our interaction with Guru was Guru calling us up and teaching us songs or singing with us.
Of course, we all know how beautiful Guru’s music is. From the very beginning, when my mother first became a disciple, I heard Guru's songs. We would learn these songs that were so beautiful.
Many years later, when I looked back, I realised that through the music, through Guru's singing and songs, Guru was teaching us, especially the children. We were learning how to meditate through the music. Because at that age we could not sit for hours and hours in front of a shrine. We couldn’t be silent for probably more than five minutes. But through the music, through the singing, we experienced so much of Guru’s consciousness. We received so much of his consciousness in his light and his love and his affection. I realised years later that was how he taught us. It was a spiritual teaching through these beautiful, beautiful songs.
Anyway, I went home from that Celebrations, and every night for weeks, I was upset. I was missing Guru so much and missing being in New York with Guru.
The contrast of coming home and going back to school and not being around all the disciples and Guru was really, really hard. I actually asked my father to build me a shrine, a beautiful shrine. That’s when I started to really meditate. I can’t say I kept it up regularly all through my teenage years. But at that point, I started to meditate regularly on a daily basis to try to feel the love, the sweetness and the affection that Guru had given us during the Celebrations.
My aspiration-heart
Is full to the brim
With God’s Affection.Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, part 28, Agni Press, 2002
I was just the instrument
This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »
I decided after looking at the Transcendental photograph – one of Sri Chinmoy’s highest and loftiest photographs that all his students use for their meditation – for so many years that I would like to make a three-dimensional sculpture of it, because I also had a photograph of the side view of Guru.
It was an interesting event because I struggled for many weeks trying to get what I thought was a likeness of Guru. I found creating this bust to be very difficult. Then one late evening, I sat down with my clay head at midnight. The family were asleep, and I said to myself, I must finish this.
Even today, I can not remember what happened because I started modelling the clay and then next thing I knew, it was six o'clock in the morning. It was as though I was in a dream somewhere and when I woke up, the head was finished.
I seemed to wake up from a very deep dream, but it was not a physical-sleep dream. It was like I was up in the air and came down to the physical earth when I saw that the statue was finished. It was like I was somewhere above the Himalayas and I came down to see the result of the physical work. For six hours I did not know where I was. It convinced me then: I knew that Guru did the work, and I was just the instrument.
So I cast the head in a polyester resin and took it to New York in October that year. It was 1989. Guru liked it and asked me to make more copies. I returned to New York just before Guru went on the Christmas trip to give the copies to the people who had requested them.
My Lord,
You have made me
Your chosen instrument.
But I know that others
Can easily be made into
Your choice instruments
If You execute Your Compassion-Flood
In and through them.
Never will I say that I am
An indispensable instrument,
But I will always remain
Your grateful instrument.Sri Chinmoy 1
- 1. Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 16, Agni Press, 1983
- ‹ previous
- 14 of 125
- next ›
Except where explicitly stated otherwise, the contents of this site are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. read more »
SriChinmoyCentre.org is a Vasudeva Server project.